Sunday, May 8, 2011

Remembering My Mom on Mothers Day

Today is the first Mother's Day without my Mom. I wasn't sure how to feel about it. The obvious feelings are "loss", a bit of "emptiness", and somewhat"lost", but mostly it was really just awkward I suppose. I didn't quite know how to go about the day. In the end, I figured I would write a quick blog to honor her memory and reflect on a few of the more obscure moments with my Mom.

I remember that as a small boy, my Mom would pray with me every night: the typical Catholic "Our Father" + "Hail Mary" + personal petitions and intercessions. I remember that after each night of prayer she would give me a kiss and say, "Goodnight Andy, sweet dreams, God bless you!" and every night this was repeated. It became a very comforting ritual, the most satisfying of which was my Mom's goodnight blessing.

One night she left my room by saying, "Good night Andy, sweet dreams." and began to close the door. I remember crying out in a panic, "YOU FORGOT TO SAY 'GOD BLESS YOU!?!'". I remember her gentle smile and a sort of laugh at my correction. She assured me that everything would still be OK even if she forgot to say one of those magic phrases. However, she saw how important it had become to me and she would never forget to include all three elements of the "Goodnight" ritual thereafter.

Today, when I pray with my six year old, I give him a kiss and repeat those three elements in that exact order, "Goodnight Joshy, sweet dreams, God bless you!" He seems to derive a similar comfort from this blessing and even repeats it back to me the same way that I would with my Mom.

Each night I say this, I privately think of my Mom and it brings a bit of her into my daily life, her kindness and love paying dividends even to the next generation.

Happy Mother's Day Mom. I'll never forget you and I sure do miss you.