While deep in discussion with my wife, I shared my current outlook on life in general and she responded by asking, "Isn't that being negative, you know, the glass is half empty?"
to which I responded, "No, its being cynical, the glass could be either half full or half empty, what difference does it make, its not going to change anything one way or another, so who cares about the stupid glass!?"
I then began to consider other views of the glass:
The optimist: The glass is half full (yawn)
The pessimist: The glass is half empty (get over it)
The cynic: Whether its half full/empty it makes no difference to anyone.
The Partisan: The glass is either half full or empty depending on what my party decides
The Elitist: Full or Empty, the glass is mine.
The Empiricist: We could never know if the glass is half full/empty unless we drink it.
The Masochist: Hit me with glass, NOW!
The Sadist: I'm going to hit you with the glass, NOW, and you're going to LOVE it!
The Narcissist: I can see myself in the reflection of the glass! GOD I love this glass!
The Anarchist: The glass is neither half full nor half empty, lets throw it at each other!
The Facist: The glass is what I say it is.
The Socialist: Lets divide up the contents of the glass and say its full for everyone even though it isn't!
The Capitalist: Give me $100 and I'll make your half empty glass half full OVERNIGHT!
The Communist: Its the state's glass, now shut up and get back in line!
The Theist: Whether the glass is half empty or full is a mystery, only God knows.
The Atheist: The glass being either half empty or full, is evidence that there is no God.
The Anthropologist: Lets spend time with the water and learn the ways of the glass to avoid being ethnocentric regarding its half full or emptiness.
The Psychologist: Lets ask the glass about its childhood then work toward half full.
The Economist: The glass is half empty.
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